Holding Space: Navigating Grief and the Holidays

The holiday season is often painted in bright colors and loud music, with an unspoken pressure to be "merry and bright." But at THATCHER LYNN, we know that for many, this time of year can feel like walking through a heavy fog. Whether you are grieving the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or a version of yourself, the contrast between the world’s joy and your own pain can be exhausting.

If you’re feeling more "blue" than "silver and gold" this year, we want you to know: it is okay to not be okay.

The Echo of the Past: Why Old Grief Returns

One of the most disorienting parts of a new loss—or even just the arrival of a difficult holiday season—is the way it can "wake up" old heartaches. You might find yourself suddenly weeping for a loss from ten years ago or feeling the sting of a past breakup as if it were fresh.

If this is happening to you, please know: You aren't back at square one.

Grief is not a linear checklist; it is more like the rings of a tree. A new loss acts like a stone thrown into a pond—the ripples naturally move outward, touching every other experience of loss in their path. This is often called Cumulative Grief. Your heart isn't just reacting to today; it is recognizing a familiar language of pain. When those old memories surface, greet them with curiosity rather than frustration. They are simply reminding you that you have survived before.

Acknowledge the Empty Chair

Grief doesn't take a holiday. One of the kindest things you can do for yourself is to stop fighting the feeling.

• Give yourself permission: You don’t have to attend every party or "perform" happiness.

• Modify traditions: If a certain ritual feels too painful, it’s okay to skip it this year or create a new, smaller one that honors your current headspace.

  
  

The Wellness of "No"

In the spirit of holistic wellness, remember that boundaries are a form of self-care. * Listen to your body: If the thought of a crowded room feels overwhelming, honor that signal.

• The "Exit Strategy": If you do go out, give yourself permission to leave early. A quick "I’ve hit my limit for tonight, but it was lovely to see you" is all the explanation you owe.

  
  

Restorative Rituals

When the world feels loud, lean into quiet wellness. Sometimes, healing happens in the small, tactile moments:

• The Power of Touch: A weighted blanket, a warm bath, or the soothing ritual of your skincare routine can help ground you when your mind feels adrift.

• The Body Remembers: Often, we don't realize we are carrying grief until we finally slow down. If you feel a wave of emotion during a scalp massage or a facial, don't apologize. Your body is simply exhaling what it no longer has the energy to hold.

  
  

Reflections for the Heart: Journaling Prompts

If you find yourself with a quiet moment, try putting pen to paper. There is no right way to do this.

• The Physicality of Grief: Where in my body am I holding tension today? If that tension had a voice, what would it be asking for?

• Permission to Change: If I didn't have to worry about anyone else’s expectations, what is one holiday tradition I would choose to skip this year?

• Identifying the "Ripples": Are there "old" memories surfacing? What did I learn about my own strength during those times that I can lean on today?

  
  

The Support Circle: Resources for the Journey

If you need more than a quiet moment, these organizations and authors offer incredible support:

• Immediate Support: Dial or text 988 (The Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) anytime for free, confidential support.

• The Dinner Party: A modern community for 21-45-year-olds navigating significant loss.

• Recommended Reading: It’s OK That You’re Not OK by Megan Devine and The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O’Connor.

  
  

A Note to Our Community: Our doors at THATCHER LYNN are always a safe space for you. Whether you need a quiet hour of pampering to disconnect or just a friendly face, we are here for you. You don't have to walk this path alone.